If my two year old self was in charge of the TSA

If my two year old self was in charge of stuff, I like to think it'd go well.  Two year olds aren't racist, ethical things are black and white to them, and they have an undying loyalty to candy.
So, if I was in charge of the TSA as a toddler,

One) There wouldn't be patdowns, because EWW cooties

Two) The videos would be easier to understand, and have more cartoons and people slipping on banana peels.

Three) Metal detectors are chill, but those big scary new sensors that use air and sound to detect anomalies on you? Giant spinning tubes of intimidating doom.  No, none of those.

Four) HELL YEAH! I get to take my shoes off in the airport?!

Five) What? kids don't get to take their shoes off? fixing that.

Six) Conveyor belts would be lower, and it'd be totally fine for kids to ride them.

Seven) The line would be designed like a funhouse!

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ok, so maybe it wouldn't be so great....